19 Nov Every Act Is an act of love or a cry for love
I know this so going to rub some of you the wrong way. That’s ok, part of what we do here is stretch you. So let’s dive deep into this paradigm.
It can be hard to see how an act of abuse or violence, or abandonment, or theft, or betrayal, or neglect, or criticism, or lying, or (insert whatever someone has done to you that still hurts) could be seen as anything having to do with love. But it can and it does.
When we are still in pain it’s hard to see anything but our suffering. There’s a valid reason for this. Our brain wants us to remember the hurt so we don’t allow it to be done again. It is a way of keeping us safe. But here’s the thing, it also keeps us from experiencing joy, connection, and love at its fullest.
This doesn’t mean the act isn’t wrong and doesn’t need correction. We are not excusing the behavior. But when we come from a place of understanding that there is only 2 reasons why someone does something, then we become empowered to make choices from a place of forgiveness instead of a place of pain. There’s a huge difference.
Sometimes a disturbing act can be an act of love? In some cases, the love is expressed in a really distorted way. But the intention is the same. The underlying intention is to say, “I love you.”
In other ways someone is so wounded themselves they are crying out for love. Being cruel to others is an expression of distress; when we are hurt we just wanted to be loved. Think two year old tantrum or acting out behavior. The toddler isn’t evil, they are trying to get their needs for love and safety met without the ability to communicate well. After all most of us adults are walking around as wounded children.
Sometimes we aren’t able to look at the situation form a healing way until time has passed, sometimes we never will. We all have blockages where we can’t even begin to think of the person or an event in a different way. I have this myself. I’d like to say I’ve done so much work that I can see every time I’ve been hurt as an opportunity for growth. But that wouldn’t be true. We all get tripped up. There are places where I am still upset and am not ready to move beyond the hurt. That’s ok. I’ll get there. And guess what, after that there will be another situation that I am blocked around. That’s the cycle. It’s all a process of peeling back the layers one day at a time.
The most important thing is to allow the process take place and not skip right to the forgiveness part. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel the emotions, that energy gets trapped. This is where disease comes from. So step back, feel the feelings, then ask yourself “were they acting from a distorted way of expressing love or crying out for love?”
How is this landing for you? Are you having trouble seeing how this can apply to your situation? Let’s chat. Share in the comments or shoot me a message.